Corey Trench's Blog: My Growing Life

My Most Epic Musical Failure (How The BoDeans Taught Me The Birds & The Bees)
September 12, 2013, 6:13 am
Filed under: Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It must of been 6th grade, when I just started to listening to my dad’s albums (or cassettes which he had plenty of) that I decided I wanted to be a rock star. Music struck me as such a powerful thing. It moved me in such a way that nothing else could, aside from girls of course (mysterious creatures that seem to like you or maybe they don’t). I wanted to posses the ability to rock, much like the bands my dad liked: Foreigner, Van Halen, Nirvana, and The Who. All this was way before I picked up a pair of drumsticks and sang for my current band Articles. It was a simpler time when I was just discovering music. All I knew was that it made me happy.

Coincided with my musical discoveries, I also had a natural leaning toward movies. My tastes at the time were like any typical kid my age, I wanted to see pratfalls and goofiness. Enter the film, Heavyweights, which my mom had rented from Blockbuster (oh, when VHS and rental fees were king) on one Summer night. The movie was your typical kid friendly Porky’s or Meatballs. Awkward kids go to camp and go on adventures, which is nothing compared to real life Summer camp, where all it was was consulers trying in vain to come up with SOMETHING for you to do.


It wasn’t so much the movie itself that I found memorable, but a particular song that played in the beginning credits. It literally sounded like a Summer breeze hitting my hears. There was something about the upbeat tempo and catchy melody that seemed to match perfectly with following the main character bouncing along the residential sidewalks, being let of school for Summer vacation, and dumping lemonade on himself (all the 90s kids remember that I’m talking about) It was just really, really good! I became instantly obsessed with finding out the name of the song. It became my goal to figure what it was. I would rewind the movie (remember VHS tape) over and over, just to hear it again! My mom managed to figure out that all the song credits for movies appear in the end credits, so we skipped to them in order to find the song. We paused the tape and then wrote down the name of the artist and song title. It was “Closer To Free” by The BoDeans.

The next step was buying the album, which was readily available at our local music store. It was really exciting, holding my first CD in my hands. Even more exciting was the ability to hear my song (yes, it was MY song at that time) over and over again. I almost didn’t want to hear the rest of the songs. I just wanted to hear the catchy guitar part and loud, yelping scream of the lead singer before launching into the rocking, tubular tune. Finally, my musical quest had ended.

But it wasn’t until weeks later that I tired of “Closer To Free” and actually started to listen to the rest of the album. I actually found them to be quite stellar! Maybe not as catchy, but it didn’t matter. It was the feel and upbeat quality of the songs that was symbolic of my musical tastes at the time.

While it seemed like every song was good, there was one in particular that I found quite interesting. It was a slow jam that had a really driving acoustic guitar. The song was the title track of the album, “Go Slow Down”. I thought it was a pretty cool ditty, and would often find myself playing that song over and over again, much like “Closer To Free”. I liked it so much that I actually wanted to bring it into my 6th grade class for a “show and tell”. I told my mom my plan and she scolded me instantly. “Corey, DO NOT play that song for the class. It is VERY inappropriate”.13 years old and very confused, I are replied with, “But there aren’t any swear words. What’s the problem?”

I thought my mother was crazy. Obviously, she just just wasn’t into rock and roll. I had tried to sneak the CD out of the house a couple of times, but my mom would catch me and tell me that I was not allowed to play that song for people. It was an endeavor I quickly gave up on as I went on to discover other music that I liked. I decided to leave The BoDeans on the CD rack to collect dust.

It wasn’t until MANY years later that I came back to the album and heard “Go Slow Down” again, just to live out some childhood nostalgia, that I came to the nightmarish, embarrassing realization of why my mom was so opposed to the song. It was a dead give away from the opening lyrics:

“Yes, she loves me
Yes, indeed
Yes, she loves me
On my knees

First she comes, then we go
We go slow
Yeah, we go slow down

She once whispered in my ear
“Let’s not wait, let’s do it here.”

First she comes, then we go
We go slow
Yeah, we go slow down”

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. 13 year old me was blissfully unaware and bobbing my head to a song about SEX (I know, such a unheard of topic in rock and roll)?!? I thought the song was about a couple of friends riding into town and having a good time. Well, a good time was had, I’ll say! I had to smile and laugh not only at myself, but my poor mom, who couldn’t bring herself to tell me what the song was about, considering the subject matter and how young I was.

I had confronted my mother about this recently and she laughed, having forgotten about it. If anything, the whole experience had taught me how much perspective changes over the course of your life. You start to see things you never saw as a child and that with experience, comes a whole lot of knowledge (for better and worse).

What was that story about the snake and the apple? Oh… oh… no… the man and woman were naked in that one!!!! Better call mom again.