Corey Trench's Blog: My Growing Life

The Wright Brothers had done it.  They had given man the gift of flight… for about 12 seconds. On December 17th, 1903, their first successful flight had only taken them 20 feet off the ground. It was a major step forward in the field of aviation.  Now, we can fly for days and elevate thousands of feet in the sky.  If only they could get to see how far and how high their discovery would take humankind.  However, if they were alive today, I believe they’d have a tough time getting through airport security.  Orville’s large, burly mustache would probably get him labeled a “suspicious character”.

"Damn it, Orville! You picked today of all days not to shave!"

Post 9/11 air travel.  It’s hard to even imagine what it was like to fly before that.  I bet you could skip (not walk) through the metal detector while holding a set of steak knives.  The idea sounds crazy to us now, but not quite as crazy as what 23-year old Umar Farouk did on Christmas.

Yes, the press acclaimed “underwear bomber” had concealed a explosive packet in his drawers. Can you imagine how embarrassed he must have felt? He literally had an accident in his pants and now everyone knows about it.

Terrorists Prefer Hanes

Well, apparently young Umar was not the most stable kid before Al-Qaeda recruited him.  I can sympathize with him though.  Underwear can be very constraining and give you terrible chafing. I’m much more of a boxers guy.  Very roomy.  No room for bombs though.

But seriously, just when you thought that terrorists had already thought of every possible method of trying to conceal an bomb and then bring it on a plane, they think of this.  I don’t know about you, but I’m petrified.  If these men aren’t afraid to blow off their private parts, how are we going to beat them?!

The tortured look on Umar's face clearly shows he's chafing.

But I think the larger question in all of this is: how far is this going to go?  You already have to remove your shoes whenever you go through security.  Are we going to have to remove any underwear that we might have on before boarding a flight?

In a world where solutions to these problems are far from practical, you can rest assured of one thing: at least you can walk around in your underwear at home.  I’m sure Umar can’t say that.